BUNBURY 24/02/10

I am not doing a write up because I figure there are 2 people reading this and anything could happen in the early races, unraced meeting the raced and all that.

Watching Eric Cantona, he makes my heart swell.

RACE 1

5, 7, 12, 11, 9,
8,
1, 6, 13,
4, 3,

RACE 2

10, 11,
2, 7, 14, 13,
6, 1, 16,
9, 3,
4, 12, 15,

RACE 3

5, 4, 9,
2, 10, 7, 3, 12, 8,
13, 14, 6,
1, 16,

RACE 4

6, 3, 2, 1,
4, 7,
5, 8,

Opinions are high on the 1

RACE 5

6, 1, 4, 2, 3, 9,
5, 11, 7,
8, 10,

Opinions are high of the 9

RACE 6

2, 3, 1, 5, 7,
4, 8, 9, 6,

RACE 7

4, 1, 7,
8, 5, 4, 9,
7, 10, 6, 12, 2,

RACE 8

7, 1, 3,
9, 4, 6, 8, 5, 2,
11, 12, 10,

Dream of skateboarding with money.

ASCOT 20/02/10

I am watching 'St Elmo's Fire'

Genuine suicide job.

RACE 1

I was well impressed with Hot Tamale's win the other day but others have said that it beat nothing, only horse I can see beating it is Why She Left! What a name.

1,
2,
4, 5, 3,

RACE 2

I think the most consistent form in this race is coming through Raging and Dangerous Dane, I think the barrier and weights favour Raging so I am leaning that way. Though the previous runs of Escape Velocity and Lie In Wait have been very good, though historically Escape Velocity has been poor third up. Arctic Waters just can't seem to find the line.

6, 1,
5, 3, 4,
8, 7, 2,

RACE 3

With the scratching of Rocky Range basically leaves Late Night Flight a free go at leading, should be very hard to beat though is currently zero placings from two 3rd up runs. Slightly fond of the rough Calico Blue, Great Destiny there abouts, if Referees wins I shoot myself (not because it can't, but because I have lost a fortune speculating on it's rise for misery)

5, 1, 2,
6, 8, 3, 4,

RACE 4

Twilight Hero, you know, the half vampire fruit looks very hard to beat here, mad superior sectionals, Sunsilkin looks a specialist 1000 horse, Incoherent looks to have something else in the locker, Impatient Times is hard to ignore.

9, 3,
4, 2, 1, 7,
7, 8, 10,

RACE 5

Demi Moore's vagina, I can hardly split Street Value, Double Barrel, Neige, Galaxy Queen and Simply Adorable, but I know I will not be backing Galaxy Queen at that price, though the form is flawless.

1, 10, 4, 5, 3,
9,
6, 7,

RACE 6

Judd Nelson's chiseled balls, I fancy Truckin Tobie like his balls, hard to split My Becks, Yuro, Nellie Got There, Previricate, and Meltdown!

7,
10, 6, 1, 5, 9,
2, 3,
4, 8,

RACE 7

ALLO TOTTENHAM HOTZ, Teddy Sheringham's old balls. Like that and Red Hot Choice, Cheri Cheval's run was huge, it's a good field, Anything can win!

14, 2, 4,
5, 7, 8, 15, 13, 3,
1, 12, 10, 11,
6, 9,

RACE 8

GO GO GO, For Your Eyes Only could thrash that trollop Torah Bright in a snowboarding competition it has that many skillz, though Hide The Loot is about to fuck shit right up, horse is poised to win and has a 6 placings from 7 starts 3rd up! I have a fucking insane place chance in Astrae and an even more wild suggestion in Northwater Boy.... but that's because its almost three a.m. and Emilio Estevez is haunting me like a day dream or a fever.

5, 6, 1, 4,
10, 9,
3, 8, 7,
12, 2, 11,

GAMBLING IS THE ONLY WAY HOME.

Oh that guy just attacked the other guy who is Harvey Dent in batmin.

ASCOT 17.02.10

Gave a piece of myself to the fortunes last night so Manchester United would get beaten, but alas, no one listened.

Ascot is absolutely impossible today, I am unsure of nearly every race... only couple I could whole heatedly suggest backing, tread with caution!

RACE 1
Charmoss looks the winner here but was chasing Noname City and chasers are always flattered. Spirytus looks to improve while Game Muja and Sexy City impressed in their trials.

5, 6, 9,
10, 3, 1, 4, 8,
2, 7,

RACE 2
Grand Platz will be too short to back, so when this happens you start to look for reasons why it can't win, not many, 3yo carrying 58 in it's 2nd start? Army Miss is running into good form, Hang 'em High is always there abouts... but will most likely be posted wide this run.

1,
3, 4, 6, 7, 2, 10,
11, 5, 8, 9,

RACE 3
Have been on this dingbat twice now at big odds but it looks to have everything in it's favour this race, horse being 'Test Case'. Big threats to it in New Image and Avonmore Terrace - AV looks to have the most ability of them all. Simply Mak was a great trial, Sky Magic has had excuses, Prosaic scored the fastest 3yo trial on the 1st of this month.

8, 5, 2, 6,
14, 3, 10, 11, 4,
13, 7,
15,

RACE 4
Tough race, almost everything in here can win, prefer Sail Maker, Amberstroem and Ginsberg. Klasy Spy, Tennessy, Lawley, Big City, Guest Wing, Redhage all look to have big chances.

12, 7, 2,
10, 9, 15, 1, 13, 14, 6,
11, 4, 5, 16,

RACE 5
Big Ted put in a massive run the other day and looks likely, with Classic Retreat and Conakey just behind it. Whipsaw trialled very well but looks to want more ground, Fun Spice - where is it at? Go The Slug, always consistent. Flying Warrior a chance as well with Bellman and Costly Call who looks to be the big improver.

4, 6, 11,
15, 1, 3, 7, 2, 12
10, 5, 13, 14,

RACE 6
Haste looks the winner but watch the price, swoopers at odds on is like making out with your dad. Other chances being Royal Cobra and Key Miss,then back to Urban Waltz, Majestic Boy, Full Strength and Doc Marshall.

8,
1, 4,
2, 3, 5, 7, 9,
10, 11,

RACE 7
Power Princess looks the best horse in this race but the barrier is tough, Puerto Galera was a massive run last start, watch Admiring Portrait Lass, Undertake A Dane and Mr Emiseven. Improvement coming from Mr Mikimoto.

4, 10,
6, 1, 9, 7, 5,
8, 13, 3,

RACE 8
If you have access to fixed odds betting, make sure you get on Pocketknockoutking, the horse has been flat twice in a row now and this is the race they want. Threats from Timberlands who ran a massive race last start, Lookatme Lookatme who is along side it, Left For Dead and No Flirt.

8,
4, 5, 14, 15, 9,
12, 11, 1,
13, 6, 7, 3, 2,

Results from Ascot 13.02.10

I tipped Sir Hallowell @ 2.5, lay Coronate @ 3.50, lay Heart Ache @ 2.80 and back Delta Bay @ 7.50 and the quartet in race 6 with my first 5 numbers paying $3,773

I lay in bed last in delirium waiting for the replay of the NAB game between Western Bulldogs and the Brisbane Lions starting at 1am on foxtel, naturally I slide into sleep but do so with visions of a brownlow medal winner. I gain full consciousness and watch him glide across the field in greater form than previously known, he looks perfect and he fits the billing.

-Midfielder
-Proven vote winner
-Ginger
-Winning team
-Won it before


I am staggered at the neglect of attention, he was very much hindered in 2009 so that can be a write off, so if 40/1 is his shortest price in 2010, I will go down on myself at a densely attended women's basketball game.

Back him Each Way with Topsport.com

ASCOT 13.02.10

HOW EXCITING.

My new laptop failed today so I chucked a complete tantrum in the knowledge that I would not be able to correctly do my form for ASCOT tomorrow. The tantrum consisted of me pounding my fist in the ASUS keyboard consistently until I saw plastic carnage. It's not like I have a short temper or anything.... but sometimes there is only so much deity piss a man can swallow before he has to thrash out at the beast.

So I called ASUS and arranged to drop my laptop into their service shop, presuming I would be without it for, most likely for weeks. Service man looked at my laptop, asked no questions of the irregular disintegration, took it out the back, returned with a new keypad on my original laptop, returned it for free.

What fortune was bestowed upon me, how can one man in this day and age lash out at a malfunctioning electronic and then be virtually rewarded/compensated?

It's with this rainbow of intervention that I powered through the form for tomorrow, driven by predestination that I was born to gamble, born to win and born to trickle finances out of hard working Australians.... but alas, gestalts! and epiphany's like these are mere unleaded fuel, standard inspiration for those who presume destiny, a higher power or any other divine blessing will guide them through.

But no one cares, there is only mathematics and hard work.

I PRESENT ASCOT

RACE 1

I think Noname City is far too short, blitzed them previously but in an awful field, Durrah's Secret has all the positive form lines but without a win, Celebration Girl ran the fastest 400 trial in months, Deemed Priceless hit the line very hard in the 400 trial, Delamine Diva can improve lengths, Oh Halo also has encouraging form lines, Sugar Fix has been incredibly fancied by the stable and connections. Very tough.

Brackets below.

3, 2, 1
7,4, 6
5

Back the 3 Each Way,
3, 2, 1 - Trifecta.

RACE 2

Another tough race, I can't split Volcanic Causeway, Meltdown, Night At The Opera and Galaxy Queen. Winner only coming from these 4.

1, 8, 6, 7
2, 3, 9
5, 10, 4

Boxed quartet/trifecta with the first 4.
First line running, 1st, 2nd, 3rd 4th and 2,3,9 running 4th.

RACE 3

This race features the GOAT Coronate, I have it on top but I hate it with all I have. Rock My Pago, Nellie Got There, All Class and Truckin Tobe all have to some chance.

3, 2, 1, 7, 4
6, 5
8, 9

RACE 4

All destroying super epic power win horse 'Sir Hallowell' returns tomorrow and if it's fit will recreate the underpass scene in 'Irreversible' on all the other horses. Morant came on brilliantly last start, Dimitrius the big improver, Fromm has ability, Yabigorse going for 2 in a row.

1, 6, 8
5, 4, 9, 3
2, 7

Back Dimitrius Each Way
first three boxed trifecta,

RACE 5

Darntime looks to back it up here, the only other chances being Given Vision, Classofherown and Jean.

2
3, 5, 4
8, 6, 1
1, 7, 9

Win on 2 if over $2.80 (won't be)

RACE 6

Pretty difficult race, I think the weights will finally beat Heart Ache, prefer Delta Bay, Island In The Sun, Last Curtain, Real Honour and Dante's Alert. Lay it on betfair if you are game as a mother bitch.

1, 10,
7, 8, 11, 2, 4, 3, 5
9, 12, 6

WIN on 1
WIN on 10

RACE 7

The scratching of Destino threw the market into chaos. I am thinking Teppanyaki looked to be wanting the 1400 more out of this field, closely followed by Beat The Storm and Doyoudare. I have a crush horse in Referees that is currently $41. So many chances.

7, 1 ,2
12, 13, 8, 9, 5, 10
6, 3

EACH WAY BET ON 12 - Referees
EACH WAY BET ON 7 - Teppanyaki

RACE 8

In form horses galore up in this chicken little. I prefer Never Forgotten and Taxtime on it's trial. Taharka might struggle with the distance/weight, Emteevee is due, Dane Commodore is a dream boat.

8, 9, 2, 4
3, 7, 6
5, 13, 1

EACH WAY BET ON 9 - TAXTIME

ASCOT 10/02/10

So I couldn't be bothered with this anymore but soon realised I was sending friands my tips individually, so this realistically should be easier. Though most likely I will never do this again.

I will post the first 4 races for Wednesday now, and the other 4 tomorrow night so you stay mystified and remotely interested like a foul Line-6 loop.

I am unsure how to lay this out, I will go through each horse and comment then lay out brackets in terms of positioning. No doubt my selections are trash, but eventual I will duke the stats to convince you I was born beneath the beating chest of Jesu.


RACE 1 - 1000
1 - HOT TAMALE
Was unlucky in the 2yo magic millions racing 4 wide mostly without cover, impressed in the previous run. Seemingly in the upper echelon of 2 year olds racing currently and in theory better than these, I think I prefer 1200 at this stage but should be good enough. Has a huge weight advantage with the allowance, ok barrier.
2 - SMOKEY BANDIT
Trial was only average and would need to improve a lot.
3 - MILTONS GIFT
Suspect it has zero ability, weight and barrier in it's favour.
4 - DANZMAIT
Ran a 400 trial on the 18th of Jan that was bullshit super terrific, entered into the 2yo magic millions but scratched the day before, unknown but all signs point to 'bullshit super terrific'
5 - EASTER ESPRIT
Terrible name and presumably a terrible horse, either dead in the trial or 90% down syndrome.
6 - KEEPY'S BUSINESS
Finished 5th in a trial by 5.5 lengths, but something caught me, incredibly green but has a good barrier and weight advantage for this race, expecting improvement.
7 - MISS DANDY
Won a trial last week but for some reason I was fairly unimpressed, prove me wrong bint.
8 - MISS STRATHAM
Raced in the above's trial and was 2.5 lengths from it, has a good weight advantage but tough from barrier 9, I see improvement.
9 - OH HALO
Also from 'Miss Dandy's' Trial but more impressive than the winner, hit the line well and wins it @ 1000, Alan Kennedy to ride. SCRATCHED
10 - SPARKLE EYES
Ran a dream trial in October but has been dogshit in it's first two competitive races, saw a small amount of improvement last run but I don't trust it. S O'Donnell should get the best out of it, from barrier 1 carrying 53.0, should improve bunk loads.


I really only see 3 in it, and Hot Tamale should be well odds on.

Brackets

1
4, 10,
6, 8, 7,
2, 3,

Trifectas/Quinellas around 1/4/10
Small win only wager on 4
Small each way wager on 6


RACE 2 - 1000
1 - LE PLUNGE
Trial was average, will need to improve a lot, though good barrier/weight Durrant/B.Kennedy
2 - GRAND PLATZ
1st up run was very good, beat off good horses and hit the line well, does it harder here carrying 57 and departing from barrier 10, think it's good enough. Horse has mad skills, probably good at baseball and sega. SCRATCHED
3 - SUNSILKIN
Just beaten on 27/01 by the above horse, but was carrying less weight, matches it with weight this time and leaves from a similar barrier, still has ability and with the right run can match 2
4 - GIFTOFTHEGAV
Last start winner but that was down the straight at Pinjarra, leaves from a good barrier carrying an allowance, suspect it is just average and fluked the last win. PROVE ME WRONG.
5 - AVANTE
Ran a good race in the WA Guineas, has proven form far superior to anything in this race, has to leave from barrier 9 but is carrying William Pike who returns from Hong Kong for his first ride, has to be there abouts.
6 - EARL OF VASSE
Ran the last 600 in 32.78 last start which hasn't been done at Ascot for a long time, should provide a similar run again, horse looks to have various mad skills like tabbing incubus correctly and driving cold store vans. Wish it had more distance, but wouldn't be surprised if it pack raped this field.
7 - RULING JAY PEES
Cool name bro, won a trial back in September, hasn't been seen since, trial horses it beat look to have moderate form of AIDS. Good weight and barrier, suspiciousssssssss.
8 - COMFORT ZONE
Leaves from a good barrier carrying low weight, loves to lead and was just knocked off by '2' last start, meets it 4kg better this start and a better barrier. There abouts.
9 - ZED MAGIC
Prefer at 1200 and should find it difficult in this field, has ability but probably not in this race.
10 - ELLE CHOISIT
1st ever run was in Narrogin and was very average, should be able to improve on that, but to what extent?
11 - PROSAIC
Very solid trial but has to leave from barrier 11, trialled 5 times without a start, going back to January 2009, presume it has physical or emotional problems. SCRATCHED


Very good race for a Wednesday, leaning towards something outside the box... money will come for 2, 5 and 6..... going to consider value and presume the market will dismiss 8's chances but it just might lead all the way. Though Grand Platz may just win by 102 lengths.

8, 5, 6,
3,
4, 10,
9, 1, 7

I suggest coupling up a trifecta around 8, 5 and 6
Small win on 8
Small win on 6

RACE 3 - 1600
1 - ESCAPE VELOCITY
Bad barrier and weight, though carrying W.Pike and ran a good previous race, should be there abouts.
2 - KEREIGN
Has been unlucky in the last few starts, slipped onto it's knees when leaving the barrier last start which brought the lols, though I did like it a lot last start so I guess that counts for something, like how I look back fondly on that pedestrian midget Natalie Portman from whence I was 18.
3 - KWAB
Great jockey change from the rookie to S O'Donnell, carrying a lot more weight but most things in it's corner. In good form.
4 - LIE IN WAIT
Last start was massive, 3/4 wide the entire trip and still molested the field by 2 lengths, horse has super mad brutal skills, like the ability to download windows onto a stereo and oyster shucking.
5 - ROYAL COBRA
7 years old now but I don't think it's quite finished, there is a race for it somewhere, probably not in this race though. Just pictured a 'Royal Cobra'
6 - LONDON COURT
Blinkers, barrier, weight and distance should all help it improve from it's terrible form, if nothing comes from this run it should consider renting a jet ski/boat renting company based in Busselton
7 - LUCKY TRAINER
Another improver with low low low weight and barrier in it's corner, but should consider renting the renting company with '6'
8 - JAMIN
Should rent out renting company and then re-rent a jet ski and drive it into a whirlpool.
9 - SAINT TROPEZ
Good weight and barrier advantages, can be there abouts.

Race ideally looks won already with 4 having the most promising future in this field, there certainly are threats, but not many, will most likely warrant it's short price.

4,

3, 1, 9, 2, 5

7, 8, 6,

I suggest backing 4 if 6over evens.

Or a small small each way wager on 2

Knew I would never get around to doing this, selections in brackets for the rest of the day.

RACE 4
1, 7, 2, 5
3, 8, 4, 9, 6

RACE 5
6, 11, 5, 3
7, 8, 1, 4,
10, 9, 2,

RACE 6
11, 14
12, 9, 2, 4, 13, 10
5, 6, 3, 1, 8
7

RACE 7
3, 8, 2, 5
4, 15, 6, 10, 13, 7
11, 1, 14, 9
12

RACE 8
6, 13, 10, 7
14, 1, 11
5, 3, 8, 2, 9
15, 16, 17


I hope you listen to me and lose ALL OF YOUR MONEY

Brownlow

Back Dane Swan for the Brownlow medal, Collingwood won enough games and realistically who is going to take votes off of him?

5/1 on Pinnacle Sports.

I mean the guy looks like he drinks jizz for a living but so does every footballer. I hate everyone else in the Brownlow medal market.